I am in shock

I don’t know what to write. I’m trembling. My roommate confessed to me that he liked and hooked up with the girl that I had hooked up with earlier and had a crush on. I don’t understand how he could have allowed something like that to happen. This isn’t something that happens in real life. It’s something that happens in books, in movies; the betrayal by a friend. That’s how I feel – betrayed.

I don’t know what to write. He said that he lost control of what he did, but that’s not an excuse. He has seriously compromised our relationship as friends and as roommates. I don’t know if I can ever forgive him for his actions. I felt a sort of catharsis in talking to him – I knew that he was hooking up with her but I somehow refused to accept it until now.

I feel unending sadness. I can’t let it overwhelm me like last time. Right now, my greatest fear is for my personal wellbeing. Last time I got depressed, I failed everything in my classes for two months. Can’t let that happen.

I wasn’t in love with her – it was just a crush. I feel awful because my roommate acted without respect for my feelings or me as a person – his actions were completely selfish. People need to be loved, respected, and cared for. Right now, I feel none of those. I just feel awful.