The WOW stories, part 2

The evening started off with me filling out a job application at this place called the Mermaid. No, I'm not going to be a stripper, just a server. Assuming they hire me. Afterwards, I go onto the road which is supposed to take me to Phil's. However, apparently I had gotten on going the wrong way so in a few minutes I end up in Minneapolis. Stupid Minnesota roads.

When I get to Phil's, Matt and Phil are watching TV and trying to call up really awkward chicks that they haven't seen in a while. Problem is, the chicks aren't willing to come hang out. One said, as an excuse, "I'm playing Boggle with my mom." These people don't know how sad they are.

Phil decides that he is hungry and we go to Jimmy Johns. I am not hungry at all, but at Jimmy Johns I learn the following great wisdom from Dave Barry: Never take a sleeping pill and a laxative together. Thanks, Dave Barry.

After Jimmy Johns, we head over to Patrick's, where he and this guy Charlie are playing around with a skateboard. Charlie sees a chick and goes after her on a skateboard. After he passes her, she freaks out and runs off. No one has drank and women are freaking out from the mere sight of us. Amazing. At this point, Tom calls and says that he wants to join us. We tell him to come over where we are. After this, we decide to go back to Phil's house to pick up the alcohol. Apparently, Patrick also left his house so Tom drove to Phil's house, which we had just left, and then drove home, thoroughly mad at us. We try to get him to join us again with cheerful jibes and insults but he did not seem willing.

We decide to head over to Macalester and drink. Our provisions: a handle of vodka, a handle of rum, a bottle of Kahlua, and bottle of Baileys. So I'd say we were prepared for anything. The only person who is really drinking, however, is Matt. Patrick, using his incredible foresight, brought along some doughnuts from Super America which were just phenomenal. At one point, people start walking in to the bush. That's right, they just walked into the bushes next to where we were drinking. I fell down and just laughed, it was so funny.

Some guy pulled up and looked like he called someone about our presence, so we decided to leave. Phil has a great idea: we should go to Perkins. We get to Perkins and they seat us at a corner table. Then we ordered food and MAN. IT WAS SO GOOD. I even ordered another waffle, I liked it so much. The only problem was, we all couldn't stop laughing. Whenever one of us would crack up, the other two would crack up.

All of a sudden I hear, "I'm sorry, I'm going to have to ask you to leave." I freaked out. Were we getting kicked out of Perkins? No, apparently the server was telling another table that they were "out of chili." I'm not sure how I could have misheard what he said, so I think it's safe to say that I was still extremely fucked up.

Afterwards, Matt wants to go home because it's getting a little late. So we drive him home and then head back to Patrick's. On the way back, we're going through an intersection and I see a car coming at us, obviously not slowing down to the red light that it was facing. I emit a sound which can only be described as "primal fear" and Phil pounds on the breaks. Fortunately, his reaction was fast enough to avoid the collision or else I would probably be unable to type this today. I freaked out after that happened. I kept replaying the incident in my head and freaking out about it. We had come to close to an accident; it was surreal.

We go to Patrick's, where he and three other guys are in a car. Phil and I are just standing there talking to them when an ambulance drives by with its lights on but not making any noise. It was really weird. The evening wound down after that; Phil drove home and I lay down in his kitchen, wishing that the tile floor would be softer. I'm not sure how much time passed before I went home; probably around 30 minutes.