Jet lag

Holy crap. I go to sleep at 2:00 am, and wake up at 5:00 pm. Hopefully this will stop soon.

So, it seems that New Orleans has gone to hell. Looters are shooting at rescuers, and there aren’t even enough rescuers. I have a few ideas to aid the rescue process.

• Stop the rescue process, but keep it going at the same time! Don’t actually save any people from New Orleans; they’re all poor or black anyway. However, continue to loop footage of people being taken out of the city. That way, the stranded people will get hope from the footage and the rescuers will all get promotions! Everybody wins!
• There’s currently a huge looting problem in New Orleans. But really, that’s just because we see it as a problem. Call all the people looting in New Orleans “finders.” That way, the finders-keepers rule applies! Sure, they may have found the plasma TV by breaking into the locked store. But they didn’t loot it, they found it!
• The people stranded in New Orleans are out of food and water. Out of food and water, you say? How can they be out of water if it’s twenty feet high in the streets? Sure, there may be dead people floating in it, but they died of happiness! Besides, hasn’t anybody ever heard of cannibalism? Won’t they feel stupid when they realize that they had food and water all along!
• Have Bush go on TV and announce that the mission of saving New Orleans has been accomplished. If it worked in Iraq, it’s bound to work here!