Oh no! Mimes!

I never got the point of mimes. They’re people that get paid for dressing up in a costume and standing really still all day. What kind of skill is being able to stand still? The only people who wouldn’t be qualified for this sort of labor would be someone with Parkinson’s.

Our good friends at Harvard have discovered a way of making painkiller abuse more difficult. They’re adding red hot chili peppers so that the only safe way of taking the painkillers would be orally. No word yet on whether they plan to use “By the Way” or “Californication.”