A little behind

The place that I’m staying at allows me to connect to the internet, but only through a proxy server. Because of this, I’ve only been able to use Firefox. Not being able to use Trillian (read: AIM) is pretty lame.

Today I aimlessly walked around Paris in search of the Shakespeare & Co. bookstore. However, I did not find it anywhere. I’ll have to get better directions next time. Later, I went to the Louvre and looked at some very awesome stuff. It was surprisingly empty. I saw the Mona Lisa, The Winged Victory of Samothrace, Vermeer’s The Lacemaker, and Veronese’s The Wedding Feast at Cana, just to name a few. I also saw the Coronation Crown of Louis XV; it was covered with huge diamonds and looked really expensive.

Everyone else my age here has left, so I’m spending time wandering around Paris, reading, and doing math with my grandmother. On Friday, we’re going to Barcelona for a few days. Super cool!

An American in Paris

Yellowstone was pretty sweet. I wrote some blog entries while I was there, and maybe I’ll post them sometime when I have nothing else to do. I also have tons of awesome pictures, which I will be sure to post sometime.

So, I’m in Paris. I haven’t been here for a while; I used to spend every single summer here, but I stopped going during high school because of debate camp, work, or in the case of this summer, pure laziness. When I came here every summer, Paris got tiring; I didn’t even go to the city that often. However, now that I’m here after a long break I take pleasure in simply walking around downtown. It’s funny. Even though I haven’t been here in five years, nothing has changed.

Today I escorted a friend of my grandmother’s to the airport, and then went to Notre-Dame and the Tuilerie Gardens. I also went to McDonald’s to compare it to an American McDonald’s. The only difference is that the lettuce is fresher, but it basically tastes the same. Either way, I felt that I was reliving Pulp Fiction.

I have a hypothesis as to why Americans are fatter than French people. Everything in France costs two times as much as it does in America. The $1 bottle of Pepsi I buy from a machine here costs $2 in Paris. McDonald’s doesn’t even have a dollar menu. You’d think that competition would solve these problems, wouldn’t you?

Hello, lonely

Nothing's happening. I'm leaving to begin my travels tomorrow; it's a frightening thought that summer is over. I know that, assuming that someone will be kind enough to employ me, I will not be having one like it for a very long time.

I doubt that I will have internet access in Yellowstone National Park, and I don't know if anything blog-worthy will happen to me in France... although I'll probably write about it anyway. I'll start updating regularly in mid-September.

Suburbia

I went to Chaska with Joe yesterday, with the intent to meet up with his friends, watch a movie, and go over to Canterbury Park to play some poker. Suburban people scare me. I go 30 minutes away from where I live and it’s as if I’ve entered a different country. Everybody’s white. Cops patrol everywhere (seriously, I saw at least 10 squad cars just driving around). They all wear extremely expensive clothes and live in identical homes. The mating habits of the Suburbanite are also odd. A twenty year old was dating a sixteen year old. There’s just something wrong with that.

Here piggy piggy…

The plan last night was to go eat a wonderful roast pig dinner at Chino Latino, a Chinese / Latino restaurant. However, there was no wonderful roast pig because they had screwed up our reservation. At this news, half of our party left, and the other half, myself included, remained to order other good food off of the menu.

Remaining was a rather odd group of people who I mentally dubbed “people who used to or still like Cheri.” There was Michael, Cheri’s prom date, Patrick, the guy who has had a crush on Cheri since the beginning of time, Taijin, the guy who Cheri professed to like a lot more than me while I was dating her, and me. After feeling dominated by Taijin during junior and senior years of high school, actually meeting him was an interesting. I found him slightly boring, but I’m sure he thinks the same of me.

Absolute darkness

Last night was fairly crazy. I went to Phil's house around 10:00 pm. Upon entering Phil's house, it was quickly established that I smelled. Now, let me defend myself here. I am almost an obssessively clean person. I would rather be late to a class than not take my daily shower. Also, if I ever do vigorous physical exercise or some other activity which makes me sweat excessively, I always shower afterwards. However, I did smell last night. So I took a shower in Phil's house. Now, let's never speak of this again.

We went over to Pat's house and started abusing substances. Pat made all of us meet his mom, who is a really nice person. Then, we went over to Wendy's and White Castle and satisfied our late night cravings with a scrumptious feast. However, the night really didn't get started until we went back to Pat's house.

We go down into the basement and chill. I decide that the light is too bright and propose turning it off. Pat supports this idea and we turn off the light. Now, this is a really bad idea because Pat's basement is scary in the dark. First of all, there's no light - the only light sources are this very scary red light on the humidifier and a slightly less scary green blinking light on the TV. Second, he has this huge white fan that looked a lot like a very scary person every time I looked at it. Every time I looked at the fan, it scared me. If I looked the other way, there was a very scary globe, which wasn't as scary as the big white fan, but still fairly scary. To make matters even worse, we hear weird noises coming from Pat's house (footstep-like noises) and Pat and Phil start talking about the aliens from Signs. I was extremely frightened for most of the three hours that we had the light off. It was probably one of the more traumatizing experiences I've had this summer or ever. It was simply frightening.

A little bit less dignified

Penny Arcade has a white board on which they write funny things. I have a word document in which I write notes to myself about what I should write posts about or make pictures of. Penny Arcade is vastly more successful than me. Their success obviously stems from having a white board. Thus, I've decided to neutralize their advantage over me by purchasing a white board. This plan will go into effect in the beginning of the school year.

My friend Tom, who is slightly older than me, used an ATM for the first time in his life today. Gosh, they grow up so fast...

What makes someone an adult?

Financial independence? Not living in your parent's basement? Beating the final boss in Super Mario?

In the eyes of the law, you're an adult when you've reached 18. This is because the law assumes that upon reaching 18, you are mature enough to take responsibility for your actions. There are people who reach this state before 18, and there are those that reach it after 18. However, what is maturity and when is someone mature?

Maturity is based on self-awareness. Immature people know that they are immature and mature people know that they are mature. You can look on your actions and state whether they were mature or not; i.e., if your actions would be those taken by other mature people. I see maturity as the acceptance of general social norms. A mature person wants a job because every other mature person wants one too. A mature person doesn't want to live in their parent's basement because everybody else has their own apartment. And really, a mature person doesn't really care that much about video games; they don't fit into the "big picture."

I don't think that any of the three things I stated in the first paragraph and signs of being an adult. They may be something that you really want, but they don't make someone an "adult" because they say nothing about your character or how mature you are. With maturity comes adulthood.

Give me a break

I'm not really doing anything this summer. Sure, I volunteer for Patty Wetterling's campaign, I hang out with my friends, do various drugs, and read. But I'm not really accomplishing anything. My sleep schedule is fairly crazy; I regularly go to sleep at 5 AM and wake up in the afternoon. My parents (read: dad & step-mom) are kind of mad about this, since they think that having a regular sleep schedule is part of being a "normal person." Personally, I think that I've transcended the bounds of being normal for the summer. I just want to enjoy myself.

My parents got divorced when I was 11, and I've lived with my dad ever since. But when I tell my mom that I'm having the time of my life doing nothing this summer, she understands. Funny how that works.

The Unforgiven

Tom is a lot like Clint Eastwood in The Unforgiven. He's an alcoholic in denial, and when he drinks he has moments when he blacks out and kills people.

Does this even need a title?

Last night was pretty crazy. First, I drive over to get Sonia and Andrea so that they can go to this one party along with me. This proves to be very difficult as Sonia apparently lives in one of St. Paul’s many alleys. However, I accomplish the task, because I am unstoppable. Then, I go over to get Matt. Sonia brags that she won $50 worth of vibrators and shows me one. Jesus Christ. I don’t need to see your used vibrators, woman. We go to the party.

Sam, Pat, and Phil immediately accost me for Absinthe. Since I support getting drunk of all kinds, I happily oblige. Pat says that it is disgusting and that he can’t drink it. I agree – I really don’t like the taste of black licorice. However, Phil and Sam really like it. Phil comments that the Absinthe made him “really drunk,” which doesn’t really surprise me because it is 140 proof.

There is beer pong at this party. Matt gets ridiculously drunk on the beer from the beer pong. In fact, Pat, Phil, and Matt are all extremely drunk, male, and hence, violent. Matt finds a wooden ruler somewhere and starts whipping people with it. It gets taken away from him and he gets whipped with it for a while. Then, Pat expresses desire to be whipped in the scrotum and his nipples, which Phil obliges. Matt walks up to a girl and tells her to punch him, so she does. He brags that he can’t feel a thing. Then, Sam comes up to him and punches him. Apparently this really hurt Matt because he falls on the floor and starts crying. People are starting to leave, so I decide to drive Matt, Sonia, and Andrea home and then go to Perkins with Phil and Pat.

Having wrestled myself out of that sticky situation, I went to Perkins with Pat and Phil. Perkins was hilarious. First, while we were sitting there, three extremely ugly girls come in. I mean, if you took individual features from them, you might have created a good looking woman but if not, it was a failed cause. Pat wants to go hit on them and get one of girl’s (the one with the pretty face but the ugly body) number. We manage to dissuade him from the idea.
Then comes the funniest part of the night. When we order, Phil orders an omelet and tells the server to cook his eggs over easy! Pat made fun for him for at least the next half hour.

Whoa! Missed a day

Nothing really happened yesterday... and my brain sort of took a day off.

The night before last, I went over to Ricky's house, where we had a small gathering consisting of Tom, Phil, David, Amelia, and myself. We drank, ate a pizza (delicious), and watched Finding Nemo. I didn't think it was as amazing as people say. In fact, I'm confused about the stoner turtles. How on earth do they manage to smoke under the ocean? I can't really imagine Poseidon taking a hit from a bong. But hey, it could happen.

I like partitions

This is my room. My parents made it when I told them that I didn’t like living in an open space as large as the loft. It's small, but cozy. :)

Oh yeah

I forgot to mention this. Sometime around 3:00 am I was given a glass of water by someone really nice. I was also delighted to find that this glass of water contains ice, which I then threw at David, who was lying on the stairs, obviously exhausted from drinking. Tom took some ice from the fridge and threw it at me, for which I punched him, because I have cruel double standards for ice throwing.

Do you ever do things that you do so automatically that you don't even notice doing them? I had an odd moment after showering today. I got into the shower, showered, and then got out. But I didn't remember any of the actions that I took while showering.

Phil's party

7:30: I go over to Phil's a little early because I am bringing alcohol and it should be cooled. Phil decides to get his drinking out of the way early. He pours a shot of Bacardi 151 into a glass and then pours an entire can of Pepsi into the glass. I smell it and taste it, and it still smells and tastes like Bacardi 151. However, the really unpleasant feeling that all of your internal organs are being burned in the fires of Hell is dispelled by the Pepsi. We then watch Comedy Central. To recount a joke: the comedian was talking about how his girlfriend is overweight and how they met in an elevator. He was in the elevator, the door opens, and she asks, "Going down?" to which he responds, "If you get on we are." Don’t worry; you’ll get it in a second.

8:30: The first people start to arrive. For some reason, we have nothing better to do than watch Meet Joe Black. I am highly critical of this movie because everyone except for Anthony Hopkins speaks by murmuring. I had to understand what they were saying by reading their facial expressions, which were diverse and numerous.

10:30: More people have been arriving. I learn the amazing news that Phil's house has no air conditioning, except on the 3rd floor. This is shocking to me. Basically, it gets colder and colder as you go up in his house, which is slightly illogical. I mean, cold air travels down and warm air travels up, so there should be some kind of hurricane on the 2nd floor, right? That's what I thought too, but no hurricane was to be found. It was ridiculously hot on the 1st floor, though.

10:35: Tom calls me and tells me that I should go pick him up. I tell him that I will leave soon because I want to finish the movie, which will be done soon since they are playing ending music. I was wrong. We have at least another 15 minutes of agonizing slowness.

10:40: Tom calls me again.

10:45: Tom calls me again.

11:00: I pick up Tom and bring him back here so that he doesn't have to drive drunk.

11:30: Tom is commenting that this is the fastest that he has ever gotten drunk.

12:00: Matt is playing pop songs on the piano and people are singing along to him. This is incredibly fun. Sort of like karaoke.

1:00: Pat calls me over to take a walk with him, Rachel, and Amelia down to the river so that he can hit on Amelia. They end up hooking up later, so I guess it was justified. I have to say, though, that Rachel turns stupid when she's drunk. I don't really care that much though, because my perception of what is actually happening around me is fairly limited. Phil ran out of alcohol somewhere around this time, and people start drinking his parent's alcohol.

3:00: Tom says that he wants to leave. This seems illogical to me, because there are still plenty of people at the party. However, he is quite adamant about it. We end up compromising when Amelia (a different one) suggests that she wants to try the Absinthe that I have at home. Brilliant. Amelia drives Tom home and then we drive to my house and pick up the Absinthe. Then we drive back to Phil's. Apparently Matt (20) is hooking up with Ally (16). Phil's sister is worried about this. Phil is worried about this.

4:00: Phil, Pat and I are sitting upstairs and watching TV. We are the masters of chilling out. Matt is still hooking up with Ally. Phil comments that I should get the Absinthe. However, after a search, the Absinthe is nowhere to be found. I am slightly worried but feel that worrying would be caring too much. So I stop.

5:00: Pat is going to sleep at Phil's house. I contemplate doing so, but then realize that I have to go get my wallet fixed the next day, so I decide that it would be easier to go home and sleep, which I do.

An encounter with the po-po

We went over the Jesse's, tossed a Frisbee around for a little while, and then when to drink at the usual nook near Macalester. Tom and I drank for a little while, and all of a sudden we hear, "We've got two suspects." I look at Tom in a very frightened way and contemplate running away as fast as I can.

Then, a second voice pitches in and I realize that it's Matt and Pat. Scared the hell out of me for the first few moments, though.

Big party tonight at Phil's. I'll let you know how it goes.